Advice From Elder Busche

Elder F. Enzio Busche
Quorum of the Seventy
BYU Devotional May 14, 1996

I want to share with you a vehicle, an instrument, that I developed some time ago for myself and for my family. It can assist us to reach our focus as we reat the suggested vision of true decipleship as a Latter-day Saint. It helps when we, from time to time, ponder and seek identification with the following thoughts. Embrace this day with an enthusiastic welcome, no matter how it looks. The covenant with God to which you are true enables you to become enlightened by him, and nothing is impossible for you. When you are physically sick, tired, or in despair, steer your thoughts away from yourself and direct them, in gratitude and love, toward God. In your life there have to be challenges. They will either bring you closer to God and therefore make you stronger, or they can destroy you. But you make the decision of which road you take. First and foremost, you are a spirit child of God. If you neglect to feed your spirit, you will reap unhappiness. Don’t permit anything to detract you from this awareness. You cannot communicate with God unless you have first sacrificed your self-oriented natural man and have brought yourself into the lower levels of meekness, to become acceptable for the Light of Christ. Put all frustrations, hurt feelings, and grumblings into the perspective of your eternal hope. Light will flow into your soul. Pause to ponder the suffering Christ felt in the Garden of Gethsemane. In the awareness of the depth of gratitude for him, you appreciate every opportunity to show your love for him by diligently serving in his Church. God knows that you are not perfect. As you suffer about your imperfections he will give you comfort and suggestions of where to improve. God knows better than you what you need. He always attempts to speak to you. Listen, and follow the uncomfortable suggestions that he makes to us—everything will fall into its place. Avoid any fear like your worst enemy, but magnify your fear about the consequences of sin. When you cannot love someone, look into that person’s eyes long enough to find the hidden rudiments of the child of God in him. Never judge anyone. When you accept this, you will be freed. In the case of your own children or subordinates, where you have the responsibility to judge help them to become their own judges. If someone hurts you so much that your feelings seem to choke you, forgive and you will be free again. Avoid at all cost any pessimistic, negative, or criticizing thoughts. If you cannot cut them out, they will do you harm. On the road to salvation let questions arise but never doubts. If something is wrong, God will give you clarity but never doubts. Avoid rush and haste and uncontrolled words. Divine light develops in places of peace and quiet. Be aware of that as you enter places of worship. Be not so much concerned about what you do, but what you do with all your heart, might, and strength. In thoroughness is satisfaction. You want to be good and do good, that is commendable, but the greatest achievement that can be reached in our lives is to be under the complete influence of the Holy Ghost then he will teach us what is really good and necessary to do. The pain of sacrifice last only on moment. It is the fear of the pain of sacrifice that makes you hesitate to do it. Be grateful for every opportunity to serve. It helps you more than those you serve. And finally, when you are compelled to give up something or when things that are dear to you are withdrawn from you, know this is your lesson to be learned right now. But know also that as you are learning this lesson God wants to give you something better. Thus, we prepare all the days of our lives, and, as we grow death loses its sting, hell loses its power, and we look forward to that day with anticipation of joy when He will come in his glory.

The Decline of Dating. The Forgotten Courtesies.

After dating a whole crapload of dirtballs I was compelled to write a list of 

things that I feel that should be common sense, and that many (not all)

 guys have forgotten or for some reason, that is beyond me, have never

 learned...

If you have Second Week Syndrome, tendencies to Chop and Drop or

 Cali Syndrome, don't even talk to me. 

DO NOT be late. Enough said.

If you are asking me on a date then you should be the one to pick

 me up. Don't ask me to meet you at your house, or at some other 

location. Be a man, wear the pants, and pick me up at my place. 

You had better come to my door to pick me up. If you don't want to

 come to my door cause you are scared to meet who I live with then you

 might as well just go back home. If my brother doesn't like you then you

 don't stand a chance anyways.

If you have asked me on a date then you very well better have had 

something planned. When you show up at my door asking me what 

I want to do it tells me that you could not care less how the date

 goes. I have obviously impressed you enough for you to ask me on 

a date, now it is your turn to impress me.

Let me know ahead of time what you have planned for the date.

 I don't like constantly wondering when you are going to show up at

 my door or if what I am wearing is going to work for that date. It's 

rude and if you don't let me know then I will probably assume that 

you don't care and we are not going. 

Open my doors. It is a simple gesture that says a lot.

Keep your language clean all the time, not just when I am around.

 It is such a turn off to hear a guy drop vulgar language. It also makes

 me very uncomfortable.

Do not make fun of other people. It makes me think that you either

 have nothing intelligent or of worth to say or that you are just a flat

 out jerk. There is nothing more refreshing than being with a guy who

 can find the good even in the worst of people.

Just because I let you kiss me does not mean that I gave you permission

 to put your hands wherever you want. Keep your hands where they

 belong. If you really respect and care about me, or have any respect

 for women at all, you would want to keep me as clean as possible. 

Remember that you are taking someone's daughter out. Do not do 

anything to me that you would not want some boy to do to the 

daughter that you will have one day.

Anticipation is everything. Do not try to kiss me too early. I want to

 get to know you and I want to know that you like me for me not just

 for action. When you kiss someone a whole new set of feelings is

 stepping in and if it comes in to early then it will begin to cloud good

 judgement. It becomes hard to decipher if you are having feelings for

 them because you really like them or if it is cause you enjoy kissing 

them. Also if you make the move too early it makes me question

 your motives and your character. Make me crave a kiss from you,

 waiting for it makes it all that much better. And I will respect you

 for respecting me.

It is sad that I have to say it and that it is not already common sense

 but, once you have kissed me, my friends are off limits. 

When I say that I don't like to be tickled, I mean it.  I am laughing

because you are tickling me, not because I want you to continue it. 

I swear the next guy that trys to kiss me during a movie, I am 

going to slap right across the face. 

No means no. It does not mean maybe, yes, or ask me again. 

To the guys that hold and honor their preisthood, Thank You. You have

 no idea how comforting it is to be with a guy who you know if anything

 were to happen to you he could give you a blessing on the spot. And

 also to know that he is not going to do anything that will make you

 have to stick up for your morals. 

Ever heard the phrase leave things better than you found them?

 The same applies to dating. It would be so refreshing for once to 

go out on a date and have a the guy bring me home feeling like I 

was a better person for getting the opportunity to go on a date 

with him. 

Do not just drop me off on the street like I am a cheap jug of milk.

 Girls do not like it when you sit in your car and stare at them 

walking into their house. It's just creepy. Get your butt out of the

 car and walk me to my door.